10 Dec 2003
The Case Against Lawyers

MSNBC has an excerpt from Court TV anchor Catherine Crier's new book The Case Against Lawyers: I'm gonna hafta read this puppy! Here's a tidbit:

Take a gander at ten of my favorite examples from the annual Wacky Warning Label contest sponsored by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch. Remember, these are all legitimate labels to protect you from yourself:

NUMBER TEN: The label on a handheld massager advises “Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.”

NUMBER NINE: A label on a public toilet reads “Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking.”

NUMBER EIGHT: A can of self-protection pepper spray warns users “May irritate eyes.”

NUMBER SEVEN: No matter how slow the print out, please heed the warning on a laser printer cartridge: “Do not eat toner.”

NUMBER SIX: A thirteen-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns “Not intended for highway use.”

NUMBER FIVE: A label on prescription sleeping pills warns that they “may cause drowsiness.”

NUMBER FOUR: A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns “Do not drive with sunshield in place.”

NUMBER THREE: Bicycle shin guards warn “Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.”

NUMBER TWO: A household iron warns “Never iron clothes while they are being worn” (and don’t steam yourself either; I’ve tried).

And finally, my favorite, and 1999’s big winner:
NUMBER ONE: Parents, please read the baby stroller label that cautions “Remove child before folding.”

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