30 Jun 2011
The Fountain of Youth

It seems as though a scientist had discovered the long lost formula sought by Ponce de Leon for the elixir of youth. But there was a problem: the recipe called for the eggs of a very particular species of sea bird, which was native to a very small portion of the Florida coast. And some developer had opened an African Safari theme park right on that very spot.

But this wasn't the only issue. According to some fragments of ancient documents describing the effects, it could be bungled in such a way as to cause instant death rather than everlasting youth. Those same documents stated that the only other animal besides man that was effected by the drink were cetaceans, a family of marine mammals, including dolphins, whales, etc.

But who could resist the Fountain of Youth? Our intrepid scientist got access to a local water park by posing as a marine biologist, figuring he could test the stuff on the animals there before he quaffed it himself. And he convinced the owner of the safari park that he was an ornithologist, in order to get to the nesting grounds of the birds. Everything seemed to be falling into place.

And indeed, all was going well - he gathered the eggs without a hitch. On the way back to his vehicle, he encountered a pride of lions directly in his path, dozing regally in the summer sun. He very carefully picked his way across, and finally got back to the parking lot, ready to jump in his car and hard for the aquarium. But instead, he was met by the police and arrested.

The charge? Transporting young gulls across stately lions for immortal porpoises...

21:40 /Humor | 1 comment | permanent link