28 Jul 2005
SPAM From The Insane Asylum

I have some pretty good SPAM filtering in place, but every once in a while something gets through that I instinctively feel should have been caught. I say "instinctively feel" because most of it has none of the characteristics of "normal" SPAM - no links to websites, phone numbers or street addresses. No hidden GIF images to track your address. Sometimes an address that looks legit: not HotMail, Yahoo! or AOL. Quite often the sales pitch is so thoroughly hidden as to be indiscernible: other times, as seen below, it's kinda obvious what they're trying sell, but it's never stated in anything resembling coherence.

I sometimes fancy that this is really inmate therapy at some hidden hideaway for the terminally weird. I know that my brain felt throughly scrambled after I read this one:

Radio 8WL News: Amusing Reading

Since around age 18 to present day, I have had dreams about being pregnant, giving birth and caring for small infants. Some are bland, yet lucid, others are surreal, half-remembered. Rooted in the knowledge that both biological clocks (for puberty, waking up, etc.) and dreams consist of electrochemical activity in the brain, I suggested that dreams about babies could be a by-product, not of a repressed subconscious desire to procreate, but of interacting impulses in a woman's grey matter. My theory requires the concession that another theory about a female reproductive biological clock actually exists - not proven as far as I know. I'm not a neuropsychologist or scientist or any other professional interested in gathering empirical data so the theory died with that paper. But I remember it every time I have a baby dream - like I did last night. Can I let you in on a secret? Remember: you never know what's around the corner until you look...

It's official.
Adobe has purchased Macromedia.
They will now be
a massive player
in the publishing software industry,
capable of competing with Microsoft.
Is this what it takes?
Fighting a humongous corporation
with a mega company?
It does make sense.
Years of protest and boycotts
by lefties, techies
and generally disgruntled users
have failed miserably
in their quest
to make Microsoft
an insignificant
(or even markedly less noticeable)
market force.

But it makes me sad -
not one week after I'd just
been so impressed by Adobe.

Enjoy a better love life
for both you and your partner.
Bring a smile to time!
Clarinet!
Let me introduce you
Barbarian -
...THE VIBRATING RING!!

It's the latest craze to sweep the world
and people just can't get enough!
It's safe, easy-to-use and so cheap,
you'll want isochronous or cumulate 10!!!
It's comfortable design means
that it's not too invasive
or awkward to use
and it will expand to
fit ANY size!
tallyho for data.

So what is this VIBRATING RING.
Well I'm back for another installment.
If you are in the media business
then you may already know
what the title means.
Arrhenius!
Vibrating tickler stimulates her!
Here is the state AP report for your reading!
hitting the RIGHT spot!
malaria!
EVERYTIME!
Not only will the firm grip
make him stay
harder
for tenured teamwork thereupon.
Longer!
It will give her
those multiple pleasures
she's only read about!

Geochemical but hacksaw ...
Bridesmaid but Don ...
Don't wait for it!
Get your VIBRATING RING today!

I did however learn the system and getting better, my legs got to working correct and my ears adjusted to the scanners once again.

All I added to the above was line breaks to fit the native cadence - every other word and punctuation mark is as received...

00:00 /Humor | 0 comments | permanent link