Sat, 13 Sep 2003

Redneck Asatruar

Rummaging around my hard drive last night, I ran across this bit of stupidity. It was dated in '96 - I have no idea who wrote it, or even where it came from, but, well, if you're Heathen you'll find it pretty screamingly funny.

You Might be a Redneck Asatruar if...

  • Your horn reads "Budweiser"...in runic.
  • Your statue of Odin looks a lot like Elvis with an eyepatch.
  • Your statue of Freyja has a hoola skirt and a clock in its belly.
  • You think the nine worlds include Graceland and Dollywood.
  • Your ceremonial sword says Gen. R. E..Lee on one side and Franklin Mint on the other.
  • The Yule feast was late because the TV dinners took longer than you expected.
  • Your usual offering to the landwights is a moon pie and YooHoo.
  • In a ritual, you have ever said "and all ya'll Aesir and Vanir".
  • You call the landwights "critters".
  • You've ever used "All-Pappy" as a kenning for Odin.
  • Your harrow doubles as a BBQ pit.
  • Your incense comes out of a pouch that says Redman.
  • Your belt buckle is larger than your shield.
  • You made people stop leaping the Midsummer bonfire because dirt was getting on the pig.

/Humor | 0 writebacks | permanent link


comment...

 
Notes: If you put a <mailto:> link in the URL field your address will not be mangled: this could be a bad idea as your email address could be easily harvested by bots designed for SPAM. The comments field should now format correctly for line feeds and carriage returns: when you hit the 'Enter' or 'Return' keys in your comment it should break to a new line. The text should wrap cleanly. Please let me know if it doesn't. No HTML tags will pass through - entering links seems to be the main cause of comment SPAM. Also, please be sure that Javascript is enabled in your browser before attempting to post a writeback. Sorry for any inconvenience, but this really helps cut down on the amount of comment SPAM I have to deal with.
 
 Name:
 URL:(optional)
 Title: (optional)
 Comments:  
Save my Name and URL/Email for next time