20 May 2004
Ouch!

This has to be one of the most scathing "reviews" of a movie that's not even been released yet that I've ever read. It's also screamingly funny in it's own right. Some memorable lines:

[Episode I and II have ] two of the most soul-killingly dull storylines ever put on film. I mean, really — I’ve seen more interesting films on sandwiches I left in my fridge too long.
While you’re at it get rid of Natalie Portman, who as Queen Amidala has all the regal presence of a mallrat shopping at her local Fashion Bug.
In many ways, “Phantom” and “Clones” were the answer to the unasked question “What would the director of ‘Plan 9 From Outer Space’ have done with a talented effects crew and a $200 million budget?”

Read it and laugh!

Can ‘Star Wars: Episode III’ be saved? Fire Lucas, fire Christensen and resurrect Ed Wood from the grave.

(link) [MSNBC]

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