19 Aug 2005
Old Butch

a little ag humor from within the crainium.

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young laying hens (called pullets) and eight or ten roosters whose job it was to fertilize the eggs. The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and got replaced.

But that took an awful lot of his time. So he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so John could tell from a distance which roosters were performing. Then he could sit on the porch and fill out his efficiency reports by simply listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was Old Butch, and a very fine specimen of a rooster he was, too. But on one particular morning, John noticed Old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all. So John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing. But the pullets would run for cover when they hear the roosters coming.

To Farmer John's amazement, Butch had his bell clamped in his beak so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his bit and then he'd sneak up on another one. John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the county fair. Butch turned out to be a sensation with the judges.

The result? The judges not only awarded Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the "Pullet Surprise" as well.

Clearly Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two highly coveted awards by sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

00:00 /Humor | 0 comments | permanent link