04 May 2004
Billboards in Missouri

We're back, and a grand trip it was, too - there'll be another post detailing the Moot in a bit. But I just have to mention the most disturbing part of the drive - across the great State of Missouri.

Missouri, for those of you not privileged to have visited, is a very beautiful place. The Ozark Mountains rise in the southwestern portion, most of the state is heavily forested and that which is not is covered by rolling green pastures ... and billboards. Missouri is truely the "Buckle of the Bible Belt".

Coming into the Missouri from the west, the first thing one sees is a very stark (white letter on solid black background) announcing that:

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matthew 19:9

Before you get into the state from the east you'll run into the home of The Cross Foundation. It really sets the tone for what's to follow.

There were plenty of the "God" series:

You think it's hot here? - God

C'mon over and bring the kids - God

We need to talk - God

Have you read my #1 best seller? There's going to be a test. - God

Either side of St. Louis has a very interesting piece: a smiling baby, sitting up and asking: "Who's my Daddy?", followed by the tag line for a DNA paternity testing service. I guess there's some "fun" in "fundamentalism", after all. Especially if one counts the number of porno shops by the highway.

It seems as though every exit had a little store selling porn and "adult novelties" - mostly catering to long haul truckers, I imagine. This just has to drive the local churches crazy - and they've decided to do something about it. Outside of every single one I saw was a billboard (usually two, one facing the highway from either direction) decrying the bad effects of "pornography addiction", usually urging the reader to seek salvation in Jesus. There must've been at least 50 of these sites along I-44 alone: some group of church puppies spent a tremendous amount of money to get their point across.

Now, the libertarian in me says "Well, fine! We have free speech in this country, and they're welcome to buy the ads to get their viewpoint across!". But the Asatrurar in me remembers a old folks saying, something to the effect of "What's good for the goose is good for the gander!". He wants to win the lottery, and buy a billboard next to every church in the state, saying "Warning: Christianity can be hazardous to your health!".

Imagine the howls that would go up from the churches then.

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