08 Apr 2005
Waiter! There's a finger in my wallet!

Lot's of folks, including me, blogged this when it first hit the wire. Now it seems that there may be more to the story - or less, as the case may be.

The woman who claims she bit into a human finger while eating chili at a Wendy's restaurant has a history of filing lawsuits -- including a claim against another fast-food restaurant.

(link) [CNN]

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Texas oilman seeks gusher from God in Israel

The real title of the article should be "Texas Oilman Seeks Sucker for God [anywhere he can]" ...

John Brown, a born-again Christian and founder of Zion Oil & Gas of Dallas, can quote chapter and verse about his latest drilling venture in Israel...

(link) [MSNBC]

for an expanded take, see Dispatches from the Culture Wars

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Thou paunchy lily-livered foot-licker!

Here are some extremely useful but obscure curses for dealing with politicians, bosses, ex-wives and the other assorted rudenesses that pass for life in the modern world.

  • Thou ruttish weak-hinged harpy!
  • Thou rank base-court haggard!
  • Thou haughty weather-bitten malignancy!
  • Thou gleeking horn-mad varlot!
  • Thou wenching boil-brained lout!
  • Thou paunchy shard-borne miscreant!
  • Thou purpled bat-fowling dewberry!
  • Thou puny dread-bolted scullion!
  • Thou spleeny rump-fed rudesby!
  • Thou spongy rough-hewn mumble-news!

And if those aren't enough for you, there are 388933 more, all available on demand at the Elizabethan Curse Generator.

via Laudator Temporis Acti

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Man Arrested for Using $2 Bills at Best Buy

I wonder what they would've done with the coins (featuring Sacagawea) pictured here. They're legal tender too, and I pass them out as change on my egg route all the time - along with $2 bills. "Makes folks remember you" is what one retail pro told me.

I would say that this'll insure I never shop at Best Buy again, but the service and quality issues I've run into there over the years has pretty much chased me away already.

When Mike Bolesta went to pay his bill at Best Buy, he had no idea he'd end up in trouble with the Secret Service for supposed counterfeiting.

(link) [morons.org]

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